Proposed Local Rules of Golf

The following is an article that makes a great deal of sense since our Post is going to be hosting a Golf Tournament on August 22, at the Winged Pheasant Golf Club in neighboring Shortsville. The article was found by Deanna Side, widow of John Side, USN.The proposed rules are stated as follows:

A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree.  Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game.  The player should estimate the distance the ball would traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, preferably from atop a firm tuft of grass.

There shall be no such thing as a lost ball.  The missing ball is somewhere on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else.  It thus becomes a stolen ball.  The player should not compound the felony by charging himself a penalty stroke.

If a putt passes over the hole without dropping it is deemed to have dropped.  The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a position  in the atmosphere without support must drop.  The law of gravity supersedes the law of golf…

Same thing goes for a ball that stops at the brink of the hole and hangs there, defying gravity.  You cannot defy the law…

Same thing goes for a ball that rims the cup  A ball should not go sideways.  This violates the law of physics.

A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such comments as “You could blow it in” may be blown in.  This rule does not apply if the ball is more than three inches from the hole.  Afterall, no one wants to make a travesty of the game.

Get ready to tee it up for the first annual James R. Hickey Golf Tournament.

Get ready to tee it up for the first annual James R. Hickey Golf Tournament August 22 at The Winged Pheasant Golf Club in neighboring Shortsville.